A Memory That Escapes Me

Sometimes it really bugs that I can’t remember what happened to me.

It is a constant puzzle that I’m trying to solve somehow but somehow don’t have all the pieces. The only people I can ask about it are dead, so it’s all just theory and speculation. Sometimes I feel like I’m going crazy and making everything up. I feel like my flashbacks are a preformance for people even though I don’t talk about what happened. All my flashbacks happen when no one is around so who am I preforming for? How is this all for attention if no one knows about it?

Sometimes I wish I didn’t remember and live in this state of ignorant bliss.

My installation is nostalgic to a child’s bedroom. Everywhere you turn you will see objects reminescent of childhood but every aspect of the objects has trauma lurking beneath them. The installation takes aspects of your surroundings away by not having all the pieces of the puzzle. The viewer is left wanting to know more but they are never given answers. This mirrors my gaps in memory.

Sometimes I wish I could remember.

My installation reflects my expereince with PTSD and builds empathy by opening this space to the viewer. I want the viewer to feel some of what I feel: a state of confusion, never knowing the full story, and desire to figure out this puzzle. It is frustrating to be stuck in the past, and despite your best efforts, realize that you may never get a resolution.

another row

Info

Allison K. Tate

Projects: ❶ A Memory That Escapes Me ❷ Past Lives Film Festival ❸ Sell Out ❹ Risograph ❺ Fault Lines (A letter to my mother) ❻ Fine Art Photography